The Other Wilma

I was brought into this world by a lady named Wilma and in 1982, another Wilma became my second mother when I married Linda. I have heard people talk about the terrible in-laws. I was extremely blessed to have Wilma and Dillard as mine.

I was searching for a file this morning on an old hard drive and found instead this file. It was a file I had searched for over the years without success. It was a note that I had the privilege to share at Wilma’s funeral in 2004.

For those who knew Wilma Wright, I hope you enjoy reading this. For those of you who did not know her, you missed out. It is hard to believe she died 12 years ago today.

Wilma was a country girl who loved to go places; you did not have to twist her arm very hard to get her to go. It might have been simply a ride around her county she called home or a trip across the country to visit her brother. If you ever had the pleasure to have a meal at her table, you know she was a great cook. If you liked to take shopping trips, Wilma was the lady you would call to go along but you had better have on your endurance shopping shoes, because she loved to shop. She loved to have a crowd gather at her house. I believe she had the spiritual gift of hospitality and relationships. You were always welcome at her home and she would make you feel like it was your home. She loved spending time with people just talking.

I want to share a few personal stories with you and I hope that they might remind you of your own times with Wilma.

My relationship with Wilma began about 25 years ago when I met Linda. In those days Eastern was a suitcase college and she asked me to give Linda a ride back and forth to school each weekend. I remember she would always give me gas money each week, little did she know that I would have paid her to spend just a few more hours with her daughter. Every Friday night I was privileged to sit at her table for a meal and at the request of Linda, it was usually fried chicken, pinto beans, greens, mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy. I remember thinking these are the best biscuits I have ever eaten. Over the next 25 years I would share many meals and spend lots of time at her home.

She was there to help move Linda and me into our first apartment in the married housing at Eastern Kentucky University. She had the gift to turn a house into a home and she helped do just that with two simple rooms with concrete block walls.

Wilma was there for the birth of our daughter Lauren in 1992. Linda’s recovery was tough and I recall thinking, what I am going to do with this little baby girl? That is where Wilma came in, she taught me how to bathe, feed and change Lauren. I remember her being very patient over the next several weeks. I recall the years that followed, she would affirm my ability to care for the children. Maybe it was natural instinct, but I like to think I had a great teacher during those first few weeks. She would visit us several more times and during those visits I remember she and I would take Lauren in a stroller and walk the blocks around Hyde Park. Some of the walks were slow, partly because of her illness, but mostly because she wanted to take it all in. If anyone was out in his or her yard, I remember she would strike up a conversation. It was never enough to speak, she wanted to know about you and share about herself.

I had the opportunity to go to Los Angles in 1993 and Linda and I decided this would be a great opportunity to take her mom to visit her brother in California. I think she had been on one other plane, but it was fun to watch her excitement as we traveled. The things we would rush by, she would want to stop and look at. Alan and Millie saw to it that we had a great time and Wilma would talk about that trip for many years.

I was reminded of Wilma last night as I stood in her house and ironed clothes. She was always amazed on the weekends when she would see me ironing clothes and then she was never short of affirming me. She was always interested in what I had been doing and where I had been traveling.

Dillard, I want to publicly commend you for your care of Wilma over the past several years. Most men are not equipped with strong caregiving skills, but you did an outstanding job.

We might say that is was just not fair that Wilma got sick right when she should have been enjoying her later years with Dillard, but sometimes life is just not fair. I am certain of one thing, God had a plan and purpose for Wilma’s life including the last years of her illness and part of that plan was for Wilma to be a part of my life and yours.

In closing, this past Tuesday night I was saying prayers with each of our children which we have done since they were babies. The prayers always include a blessing for each of our family members. It was so hard after years to change that part of the prayer about Wilma, so I simply prayed that I hoped Wilma’s journey to eternal life was a smooth one and that there were many things to look at on her journey to be with God.